The individual with a distrustful structure, the formation of the ego.

We have already seen how in the oral phase, the origin of the search for pleasure was centered in the mouth, in the sucking of everything it encountered.

However, in this period between 2 and 4 years, approximately, which is called the phallic phase, the erogenous and pleasure zone is found in the genitals.

The child begins to touch, caress and perceive this part of his body as something new and he identifies it as his own through the experience of pleasure that his manipulation produces.

In this phase, he feels a great need to explore his body, as well as the body of others.

The individual with a distrustful structure is very interested in the anatomical differences between mom and dad, between boys and girls, and takes advantage of any opportunity to satisfy his curiosity by observing dad’s genitals when he goes to the bathroom and mom’s breasts when he sees her naked.

On the other hand, he is also surprised and very attentive by his different way of dressing, speaking, being, etc.

At this stage his muscular system is well developed and this allows him to walk or handle objects with greater confidence and security.

In the same way, he begins to dare to go out, walk away, and separate from his parents on purpose; although, unconsciously, he needs to be sure that his father or mother will always be there, by his side, watching over him, protecting him, welcoming him and applauding his achievements.

He would be very unwise for them to fall into the error of disapproving, scolding or disqualifying him in any action aimed at developing his capacity for independence.

Likewise, curiosity about everything around him is awakened; he is very interested in investigating, exploring and knowing everything.

The child with a distrustful structure also begins to show interest, beyond the family environment, in playing with other children, at school, that is, he begins to approach others.

It is when the mother function (related to protection) gradually cedes the leading role to the father function, which performs the task of “giving permission” and supporting him in his development when necessary, allowing him to make possible mistakes or mischief, although always being attentive to make him see his real limits.

It is at this stage also that the Oedipus complex begins to develop.

That is, when the child falls in love with the parent of the opposite sex or with the person who fulfills this role.

As we know, the mother-child fusion is total from conception to 3 years of age at all three levels: physical, emotional and energetic.

Until this age, as is normal, the child has required all the attention from his mother.

But once the oedipal phase has arrived, if the mother continues to devote herself completely to her child to the point of withdrawing from many aspects of her daily life and even to the extent of abandoning herself, the child will believe that his mother is exclusive to him.

The child with a distrustful structure will try to push everyone away from him, including his father, from whom he will receive a great contribution in this new stage of his life, in which he will develop resources and alliances that will be very important for his future social relationships.

The child must understand and feel that the father has been and is essential in his life.

That he was born from the union of the seeds of the father and the mother, which will shock him a lot and will lead him to show greater interest in the parent of the opposite sex.

The mother’s task must be based on making her see that the father is as important as herself, it will be fundamental for her own development.

This subtle separation from the mother and recognition of the father will allow him to search for his place of power between father and mother, as well as in relationships with siblings and other family members, and will lay the foundations for the child’s social projection. .

In this way, the distrustful personality is constituted during the Oedipus complex, just at the moment when the child begins to move away from the maternal influence without having yet reached the connection with the father.

Just at the moment when he feels the need to be independent as a social being rooted in his own identity.

It is at this moment that he finds himself trapped in the center of the oedipal seduction.

In order for a child to be able to build himself up internally, he needs to be recognized for what he is and receive the love, approval and support of his parents unconditionally.

But if this does not occur naturally, if the child does not receive this affectionate and tender intimate contact because the parents have some kind of interest in their child, the child must earn recognition by pleasing his parents, playing a role; in short, trying to be different from how he is.

Extracted from my book The Task of the Soul, if you are interested you can purchase it by clicking on the Amazon link:

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