The person with a rigid structure has been born into a family that has instilled in them to behave in a very specific and strict way.
His parents controlled his entire environment, all the circumstances surrounding the child.
They taught him to “dress well”, to maintain perfect hygiene, to do his homework correctly, to behave exquisitely, to eat, sleep, get up at the right time, etc.
They tried, by all means, to create around the child a false world bathed in the illusion of external perfection.
In addition, they also had to control their internal world, their thoughts, their emotions and their moods.
The strategy was to hide and deny any negative experience that had occurred within the family.
For example: the serious illness of a clan member, the argument or fight that occurred between their parents or any other setback or personal problem.
The rigid person was made to believe that nothing had happened, everything was quickly forgotten and his attention was directed towards a positive world that was not real.
The motto is to deny the bad and focus on the good, which causes a lack of sensitivity in the child.
If you hear that your father is sick and you are shocked, but your mother quickly tells you that your father’s health is good, that there is no such illness, and that everything is going perfectly.
On the other hand, she tries to keep everything in order so that there can be no suspicion about it.
Undoubtedly, as a result of such behavior, you will come to the conclusion that you have nothing to worry about.
He thinks: “If my father’s illness does not exist, if it is not real, if I have only imagined it, then the person who had been impressed, who had felt, is not real either, he is also the product of imagination.
With this interpretation of the facts, the child chooses to deny his internal world since he does not make sense and begins to contain his feelings, which leads him to lose his sensitivity and he becomes an empty person.
DEFENSIVE ACTION AGAINST THE REJECTION OF LOVE:
The attitude of the person with a rigid structure will be to avoid pleasurable and tender sexual contact, for fear of the emotional absence that this contact reminds them of.
To avoid fear, he establishes a separation between loving delivery and the enjoyment of sexual pleasure.
Both cannot coexist, one excludes the other.
His choice is to sacrifice his intimacy, avoid loving delivery and commitment.
She suppresses her feelings and actions in order not to appear foolish and to avoid being vulnerable, as she is so afraid of being hurt.
In addition, he is terrified of surrender, because it means having to release all the feelings involved in the rejection again.
This emotional block leads her to behave coldly, to become insensitive, frivolous, ambitious and very competitive: she Thinks: «I am superior; I know everything”.
Having denied her inner reality and running her life only exclusively by her mind, by her thoughts, she acts for convenience.
According to what suits her, so she thinks, he is not authentic; he is not a person of integrity.
Therefore, he does not directly try to achieve what he needs, what he wants, but resorts to manipulation.
Extracted from my book The Task of the Soul, if you are interested you can purchase it by clicking on the Amazon link:
