The wound of rejection is essentially formed during the interval between conception and birth.
Although later, in the first days of life, other events may occur that cause the child to recall painful episodes from the past.
These events, in turn, reinforce the idea that the physical world is a dangerous place, where pain is always present and where it is not advisable to live.
Some individuals with a wound of rejection may have experienced evident coldness, abandonment, rejection, and hostility in their early life.
In most cases, this is because they were not a wanted child, either by one or both parents.
Or perhaps it occurred during childbirth, as in cases where mothers suffer long and painful labors that cause them to emotionally disconnect from their child, even leading the child to feel abandoned.
Or in the first few days of life, for example: when the baby cries incessantly for its mother’s attention, causing her to become nervous.
Perhaps because she has argued with her husband and is irritable, or maybe because she was very busy with something else, etc.
Even if she has nothing against the baby, when the mother approaches and looks into the baby’s eyes, the child will perceive the frustration or anger in her gaze and believe that the anger is directed at him, potentially becoming terrified.
Even if the mother hugs him, tells him that she loves him, that she has nothing against him, etc., the child will not experience the feeling of being loved if the mother’s gaze is cold and distant.
Eye contact is probably the most important factor in the relationship between a mother and her child.
The baby with a rejection wound experiences this as a rejection of their very being.
Furthermore, they will perceive it as dangerous and begin to feel a great existential terror.
They fear not having the right to exist and accumulate feelings of anger in their chest towards their parents, or at least towards one of them, especially often towards the mother.
In some cases, as a reaction to the rejection suffered, the baby may create an illusion, an idealized image of themselves.
This image consists of seeing themselves as superior to others.
Sometimes they may imagine that they are a masked prince, that they don’t belong to their parents, or that they have been adopted and that, one day, their father, the king, will come to rescue them.
Extracted from my book The Task of the Soul, if you are interested you can purchase it by clicking on the Amazon link:
