The humiliation or masochistic wound is created to avoid suffering and experiencing the pain associated with humiliation.
The personality of the masochistic individual is based on fear and anger.
If fear predominates, anger is suppressed in the unconscious, and the person becomes a “passive masochist.”
If, in reality, anger prevails and fear is relegated to the shadows, we are dealing with an “active masochist.”
The passive masochist’s reaction, due to the fear of exposure and vulnerability, was to hide and begin living an isolated, secretive, and reserved life, separating themselves from others.
He built an enormous wall around himself, his great physical strength, to try to prevent being controlled.
At the same time, he repressed his desires, his needs, his feelings, his heart, his creativity, because if he didn’t, he would experience frustration.
Or they would steal it from him, or they could use it to humiliate him.
He began to behave according to the ideals and commandments imposed upon him, but only outwardly.
On the surface; internally, he doesn’t submit, he doesn’t yield, he remains in conflict, in tension, even if he doesn’t show it.
He is in there, complaining, suffering, resentful of the world, and everyone else is outside.
For the individual with the wound of humiliation, isolation causes pain; he knows that feelings can unite, but he is too afraid to express them.
He’s in there, complaining, suffering, resentful of the world, while everyone else is outside.
For the individual with a wound of humiliation, isolation causes pain.
He knows that feelings can unite, but he’s terrified of expressing them.
This fear prevents him from getting out and keeps him stuck in the mud, mired in anger, seething with rage and hatred.
By distancing himself from his emotions and needs, he isn’t fully engaged in life.
He perceives it as a constant struggle, one that is lost from the start.
And he blames everyone else for all of this, which is why he has no real zest for life.
On the contrary, his frustrations accumulate as his suffering grows, because he has lost his individuality and resigned himself to self-denial.
Faced with such a scenario, the masochist declares:
“Life is hard and unfair.” “People are bad.” “I feel powerless.
” Poor me! This defensive aspect is more frequent in women.
In contrast, the active masochist, more common among men, is based on rebellion.
Their attitude is to repress fear and project accumulated anger from the unconscious against all those who have abused them in the past.
This anger can be expressed directly and with a high degree of violence.
The individual with a wound of humiliation is convinced that others have not behaved well, that they are to blame for their suffering, and will not stop, in this unjust life, until they can exact revenge.
Extracted from my book The Task of the Soul, if you are interested you can purchase it by clicking on the Amazon link:
Image: psicologoalamano.com
