Individuals with an abandonment wound, in their relationships with others, demand the right to be nurtured and satisfied.
For this reason, they always seek the attention and support of others; that is, they cling to others.
However, they often fail to reciprocate when asked for help or company.
They typically love doing things for themselves but dislike others doing the same.
Similarly, they don’t cope well if they are ever left out or feel displaced.
Consequently, if this happens, they will think they are unimportant and will feel abandoned.
Certainly, they have a need for others to consider them in order to feel valued, as this is something they cannot achieve on their own.
For this reason, they cannot bear loneliness, they don’t know how to be alone, and they will seize the slightest opportunity to find company.
“What am I going to do alone?” “What will become of me?”
They are even capable of enduring mistreatment or abuse rather than having to cope with the pain and suffering of abandonment.
A person with an abandonment wound in their relationships is prone to asking for advice, but they won’t take it very seriously because in the end, they will always do what they want.
When making decisions, they will try to get the opinions of others, not because they have difficulty deciding, but because they need to feel supported.
They certainly have a tendency to dramatize any incident that occurs and suffer and worry if something negative happens to their loved ones.
Of course, they always do this seeking attention for themselves.
Because he didn’t receive what he needed most as a baby, he now lacks a clear understanding of receptivity.
Therefore, he finds it very difficult to ask for things; he is afraid and feels deep within himself that he won’t receive what he needs.
Consequently, when he has a need, he tries to fulfill it indirectly, attempting to get others to perceive his need and gratify him:
“I’ll make you give it to me”; if he fails to do so, he will deny his need, saying,
“I don’t need it,” and will feel like a victim of life and the world.
Certainly, he cannot be alone; it terrifies him, and he flees from solitude because who will care for him and satisfy his needs?
As a result, his intention is always to be accompanied, and he will do everything possible to achieve this.
Above all, he prefers being alone with another person to being in a group, because that way he can claim all the attention for himself.
Extracted from my book The Task of the Soul, if you are interested you can purchase it by clicking on the Amazon link:
Image: codiceinformativo.com
